Live and Let Live
by Pollux Unbound
Summary: Kakashi knows that what’s assigned to him is a suicide mission. Before he departs he stops by Iruka’s place and reveals what he holds sacred. Iruka has one thing to ask of him. Oneshot. KakaIru. This sucks.


**Title**: Live and Let Live

**Summary**: Kakashi knows that what's assigned to him is a suicide mission. Before he departs, he stops by Iruka's place and reveals what he holds sacred. Iruka has one thing to ask of him. One-shot. KakaIru

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Naruto; genius Kishimoto does.

**Note**: Highly angsty. A piece of advice: try to refrain from throwing up.

--

His eyes were damp, and it made discerning the sorrows dwelling in them much easier. He wondered if they would ever be reduced to their natural moisture again. It was the price of being able, too able to escape heroic sacrifices required by his greatness. His name was to go down in history as that someone who died for his people.

He knew too well what was hidden behind those words; Die, for us to prevail. Such irony. But who was he to deny the request of the Hokage, her council, and the village? Who was he but a mere shinobi who swore on fulfilling his duties to death? So Kakashi departed before daybreak to say goodbye to him who was dear to him; he to whom most of the importance of his existence was gravitating toward; Umino Iruka; his greatest thought in living.

The words were ripe in his heart. Eleven years he had loved him, without a word left spoken, and only his eyes followed him. Now whatever it was that used to hold him back from disclosing the contents of his heart would be encompassed by time's dictates of finally revealing what should badly be known. Three words, no more, no less. It shouldn't take more than a minute. That one minute, he thought, would be the height of his existence, and not far behind would be his heroic glory if he proved to be successful; to die like a hero.

--

The door swung open no sooner than he could pound his fist on it. And when Iruka spoke, his voice was pleading and solemn.

"You can't do it alone."

And those three words he longed to speak could not provide any answer as of yet.

"But I should."

"I'll go with you."

"No." Kakashi said flatly, his heart disintegrating to a multiplicity of tiny shards unbeknownst to the world around him.

"It's not an offer."

A minute had passed; indeed more than the time he intended to consume.

"No. It's not defiance. It's not an order. It's what's right."

"What do you know about what's right when the Hokage herself didn't sound as certain and convincing as what's required of her in sending you off to die alone?" Iruka asked and looked at him with a pained look that slow-coursed through Kakashi's body like countless knives burying their tips in his flesh.

"This: I do know that I can't let anything happen to you. If you die, it will be the end of me. I'll operate alone." And Kakashi gave away too much, his sentiments more transparent than anything visible. It didn't matter anymore.

But Iruka did not stir. It was as though he had just heard something as natural as breathing.

"If you die, it's definitely the end of you."

And those three words Kakashi couldn't utter still. But they merely served to justify his general feelings. Beyond that was something more profound, and he wondered if words could instill it with the very same importance and meaning he desired to convey.

"If I perish and you live still, I shall continue to be, in your mind and in your heart; I'll live" Kakashi said. There was no point in hearing a response to this. He would depart and leave the other pondering.

Iruka needed not to rummage for the meaning of these words. The bitter sight of the Jounin's back turned on him, perhaps the last he would see of him, summoned lumps in his throat.

"Then don't die." Iruka spoke, and there was a pause as he gathered all his might for a most peculiar request, "Live…live to love me."

**END**

Angstsy ne? Crappy as well. In any case, I extracted a line from Emily Bronte's Wuthering Heights; I just altered it a bit:

"_If all else perished, and he remained, I should still continue to be…"_

Credits to Night Strider, I got the idea of this fic from you. I'm sorry about the title though…and just finished reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, I need to write to get my mind off it…


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